"Is he really real?"

my middle nephew cooper is 8 and on the verge of fully knowing about santa. this christmas would make or break the dream held my all children for so many years.

on saturday we had dinner and gift exchange at grandma-B's (don's mom) and santa visited. Cooper knew without a doubt that it was just uncle cam dressed in a beard and red suit. and when confronted by the inquiring young mind, cam wowwed cooper with his honest admittance. Cam assured coop that Santa would be here Sunday night and they could stay up to see him.

Secretly the wonderful santa helping uncle arranged for santa to be at the house to take care of the yearly duties! i awoke, but not to the clatter on the lawn; just the door opening and was able to snap a picture of santa as he finished the cookies and placed the gifts and stockings under the tree.

for the first time in 8 years, cooper didn't have to be coaxed awake, he rose at 7am and stood in wonder at the stokings and gifts under the tree. He was so delighted to see the picture, he could tell by the round belly that it wasn't uncle cam but santa, indeed. Everyone was awaken by the joy-filled boy, surprised by santa's visit! the house was full of the joy that just can't be described!

Hope your day is as great as the beginning of mine has been! Love to all!

purposefully random

okay i know that i am random ALL THE TIME...but today i will be on purpose! ~that hardly ever happens!~ but there are more than a few thoughts on my mind...

~WOW, i love my boss!!!! this year we have a new director at the co-op where i work and can i just say "aww!!" it is so refreshing and relaxing to have a director that is more like a mother than a boss. Every pay day we get a note from her telling us how much we are appreciated. and we get e-cards at holidays. I just got one for Christmas, we all did...25 of us!!!! she's just so neat to work for!
~yeah! a cold Christmas!! 2 years in a row!! and i love that it's raining. i could do with out the mud and cleaning my glasses but all in all it's awesome! Thanks Lord, we needed it.
~i LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! i like the husstle and bustle about the house, no room for everyone so we all sit real close and everyone is all lovey. i love the food!!!(and will work out real hard come January) i just like being with everyone and at this point i have 5 down (counting work and the ladies thing) and at least 2 to go. I LOVE IT!!!!
~i love my friends! :) we got together lastnight and yippy that Lin made it! we walked on the riverwalk, ate a yummy dinner and ran through the mall to get to J.R.'s truck so we could retrieve lin and stuff! then we opened presents and went back to the river! it was a GREAT TIME! thanks for the good times! -Jamie i missed you!

okay that's all for now! Merry Christmas to all! make wonderfull memories with your loved ones, love you

now is a good time...

okay so it has been way too long! i know, and i have had oppurtunities but no ideas or then i would have ideas but not be at the right place. i feel displaced sometimes and not in the way as to feel out of place or not belonging; that's not the porblem. i feel like i'm hiding from myself out of self preservation. wow i don't like being introspective and don't know how to handle it when it all comes bursting through like a damn that has held up against the pressure for so long that it powerfully floods at the first sign of a small leak.
i had no intentions of writing today, but darla's comment and got to thinking... for some reason i let other's opinions or even thoughts that i think they will have rule over me. it may not even be a thought that even occurs in the other person's head but i let my insecurities take over and flood me with doubt and disapproval (that's most often not even there) and i am not who i am. Well, i am on the outside and in crowds, but not where it counts.
truthfully, that is more than likeley the real reason i haven't been here lately, sorry for the excuses and facade. i will get back to enjoying the simple things and being content with who i am and what i have, which are both tremendous gifts and quite abundant!

jackie, it still is hard for me to blog, being that i can't do it at school anymore, so don't expect one eveyday, but i will try to come on at least weekly...we'll see!

hear them singing?

okay i know Jamie posted something not too long ago about children singing and how beautiful it is...but i will too!! i have to brag...:)

okay my nephews are in town this weekend (my step brother got married)

We went to class with our congregation this morning and then came to Jourdanton to worship with my Paw-paw at the baptist church. One man sang a special, "One Day at a Time" and it was very pretty, real nice. Cooper was sitting between Mom and I and he was singing right along side Mike, in his cute sweet little voise. Made my heart smile!

i remember when J.T. was little (less than 2, coop wasn't born yet) he LOVED to sing church sonegs. Praise ye the Lord was his favorite, and he would sing it his all his might...and he didn't have his /l/ sound yet...it was too cute!

AND then at lunch today, Alex my cousin's little girl was singing songs from her bible class! it was just so precious! and i cried, in my plate!:)

did you know...

...that i liked basketball?
Okay, my mom was a basketball player in high school and my brother got those genes, and ALL of them, because i have none. Yeah sure i like to play (as i like most games) but i'm funny to watch!
we grew up with my mom playing us, and going to all my brother's games and i played little dribblers ~i think~. and we watched the Lakers on T.V. every chance we had (like jackie hutton does witht he spurs)
and now that i have nephews i love to watch them play anything, even basketball and that's what i always chalked it up to. base ball has ALWAYS been the one i like the best, except of course for bull riding!
okay so let's get to the piont... Ashleigh that i work with is a coach's wife and his 7th grade basketball team had their first game tonight in Somerset and she was going to support them and him, and i tagged along! and i was thinking, okay so it's basketball, eh and jr. high basket ball at that...ehhhh, but what the heck, i will support kids from the youth group, okay, it will be okay...
WRONG!!!!
it was so good, it started slowly but then in the 4th quarter, the b team just came alive and i was standing and yelling and cheering and jumping on the bench and just going crazy with excitement!!! and the did win, but a team lost, but it was a fantastic game!
i DO like basket ball and will probably be visiting a few more games this season!

-sorry that it has been forever since i've posted, i can't get on it at school anymore (on my conference) so it's not so easy. don't be surprised if it's a while before my next one. (: but if you really want to know anything, i am still in the same place and if you can't see me, you know my # :)

makes me smile

some time ago a few of you started a list of things to do and things you like and even a list of things you don't like, then recently i posted a list of good things i found in a magazine that i agreed with. For the past couple of days i have been paying attention to my routine and thinking of things in that are usual and familiar to me but not in my every day life, i have been back-tracking in my mind and i have come up with a (starter) list of things that i really really love. these are not in any specific order, i they are all favorite things...

~time spent with friends

~girl time

~being wrapped in my momma's arms

~sunday phone calls

~breakfast for supper

~being a part of cooking with others

~laughing (even when i'm the joke-most of the time)

~being in the middle of God's nature

~making plans to be with friends *because being together is ALWAYS great but if we have to plan for it.... oh yes!!

~my nephews and my Ally

~children

~rainbows

~feeling the wind hitting my face, dead on (this is better than feeling it at an angle)

~jumping in an ice cold river in the middle of autumn with 3 other KRAZIE ladies

~seeing God's wisdom being poored through the heart of my sister

~seeing God's power in action through the love of someone i love

~listening or seeing characteristics of an old friend or of myself

through soemone else's perspective

~pregant bellies

~baby sounds, smiles, baby feet and toes, baby noses...

~seeing success in my kiddos

~moving my leg in the morning so my foot will be on the cold spot in the bed

~listening to thunder and watching lightning

~a warm fuzzy sweatshirt or blanket

~my last bite of enchiladas

~unexpected friendships

~geting dressed up for something special

~Suzie's reaction of a new pair of shoes

~gentle touches

~playing in hair, or someone in my hair

~holiday smells from the kitchen

~seeing my paw

~kisses

~the lingering rememberance of a good smelling guy on my shirt (i love Domain!)

~hearing "i love you jenn" from Ally or one of my boys (or anyone actually...)

recipe Ingredients

I love to cook although i don't very often, because it's hard for just one person. but i like to all the same. I love taking a variety of some good things and some not so good things (what IS cream of tartar anyway) comibining them, stirring in a little love and ending up with something wonderful. i love this process in other things such as photo boards, tin creations and more of those not dealing with cooking at all...

i was able to be a part of a great recipe this weekend...
cold weather, fire, warm sunshine, thin mattresses, having no mattress at all (because it was stolen), snoring friends, lots of laughter, noisy furnaces, one or two dissapointing moments, great food, some spills, a broken glass, cleaning, God's country side, ice cold water, beautiful signing (with bass and tenor without the men) cool breezes, stealing presents, a wonderful worship, great lessons, moving from the top bunk in the middle of the COLD night for a pit stop, crafty activities, burn spots on a foot (not mine), campfire stories, crazy games, frustrating plans for game points, seeing the game points worn with pride, and wonderful Godly women.

great and not so great ingredients, combined in one place, mixed with love... and something wonderful in the end! Our women's retreat was absolutely amazing!!! the good ingredients far outweight the not so good and each thing was needed in order for the recipe to turn out just perfectly! God is so good to give us times and places such as these to strengthen us and rejuvenate us to come back and tackle another week for His Glory.

one

there was or is a comercial that advertises the power of one...sorry i can't think of what it is. okay anyway i was thinking about that and it got me to thinking how powerful one really is weather it be in a negative way or positive.

it blows my mind how ONE can affect everything! one act of kindness can lift a load off a struggling soul, even if that aspect is unkown; one smile can brighten someone's entire day; one activity not participated in because of our Christian character can change someone's eternity; and one word can help, heal, encourage, ruin a friendship, or destroy a person.

as i left a bible study last night i was thinking about how much i love thewoman i had just said goodnight to. and how close i am with her. and then i was thinking back on a time when we weren't close. and how one act of forgiveness turned my unwilling heart to help out in away that i really didn't want to and how that one day of helping her (in my opinion hers may be different) changed our relationship forever.

God's timing is so awesome and he puts things on our hurts, unwilling to let us waiver for so many good reasons. I love His all-knowing power and how he can turn one thing that was not so pleasant into so many amazing moments. i can not wait for all those moments that we haven't experianced yet!

i LOVE this thing!!!

when i went to ACU in the fall of '97 i met Judith. a red-headed canadian girl who lived in the room across the hallway. instantly we became friends! she was then and continues to be my friend from across!

when we met, we were ACROSS the hall. she grew up in Ontario Canada, ACROSS the continent. and began her college life in Michigan, ACROSS the country. the first summer we were in Abilene we lived in houses down the road from the campus, ACROSS the alley from each other. our 2nd year together we lived ACROSS campus and our last ACROSS town from each other. Upon graduation i moved here and she moved to the Dallas Fort-worth area, we were ACROSS Texas! she is now a missionary in Japan.

I emailed her recently for her birthday and got to correspond with her a little bit. but i miss her so much and we really don't keep in touch with each other as much as i'd like. we are both busy and after all we are ACROSS the world from each other (okay i'll stop saying that i know, you get the point!)

Every couple of months, judith will send an update letter about recent events, praises to God and prayer requests. i got one today and guess what?

SHE HAS A BLOG TOO!!!!!!! okay, just a little bit excited! so another friend i can be in touch with through this system! i love technology (well, when it's easy like this is!)

i hope you too can notice and experiance the good things God had instore for you this Monday!

hey ju i made a comment on the kitten post...just FYI! i don't know if you go back to read comments from early blogs---i don't unless somethings makes me think i might have something! it's about the resident Angie and i had in the dorm!! :)

flat tire

okay i have some to the conclusion that people in small towns are generally nice people! i'm sure people in big cities are nice too, although they aren't on the highway! And i know a lot of wonderfully nice small town women but i have noticed that men will go out of thier way to help someone else (especially if the man has children)

a couple of weeks ago as Joanna and i were leaving the gym, i noticed that my rear left tire was flat. not low, oh no it WAS FLAT, like my wheel cover was resting on the ground flat!!! so we were looking at it and jo was paniced but my daddy made sure a long time ago that i knew how to take care of things such as that so i was planning my next step. In the mean time, a guy that also works out there was leaving (almost out of the parking lot) and he noticed my tire and turned around to make sure we were okay and knew how to handle it. he also made a suggestion of going to the tire place down the rode (i went but it was scary so we left)
anyway, i aired it up and have been watching it and taking cxare of it as needed.

okay today i was at walmart and when i left i had thought about checking it, it looked yesterday like today would be a day to add air, but there was a lady getting out of her car and i didn't want to rush her or startle her so i didn't check it. but ias soon as i got on the highway i could clearly here that i should air my tire RIGHT AWAY!

so i turned around at whataburger and as i was coming out the exit only, a truck of older men turned in to the exit only, so i looked in confusion at him and smiles (because it's easier than frowning) they pulled in ther JUST to tell me that my tire was flat!
again, it was out of his way to turn and offer help.

I have been veryfortunate to have good look on the road but at times that i have needed help, there have been guys (prob'lly dads) that have been willing to help.
Their moms would beproud and their daughters are fortunate!

i made a mistake

i posted "i want to marry a man like that" the other day but saved it as a draft for a few days. I published it today but it is posted in the order it which it was created. so you have to look for it under "humbled". SORRY!

humbled

i have the privledge to share an office at the coo-op with a wonderful christian women, who is caring enough to kindly put me in my place and provide and form of encouragement me when i need it! Roxie is an interpreter for the deaf and sits in on ARDs (meeting for children in special education to review progress and goals) when translation and interpretation ins needed. she also teaches signs to non-verbal children to assist the communication process. We have a few kids in common, so every so often i will see her on my campus during the day, which is a treat, becasue just looking at her smiling face brightens my day!
God has truly blessed me because i have seen her 3 times already this morning. She had to be at an ARD for one of my kids, his mom is hard of hearing and uses signs...
so in seeing her just now, i asked how it went. This mother works very hard to support her kids and is elligible for very little financial support. They barely make ends meet. She left work this morning to attend the meeting (because she is a part of her child's education).
This is what she shared with Roxie...
She works at a restraunt cleaning in the back and helping prepare food and such; pay- $5.75 and hour (soon she will move up to $6.00.) She also breaks horses on the weekend; pay- $100.00
Now i'm not going to pretend to know how much a job like that is worth but i would think that a good hand who has a life time experiance with horses could get better than that so my mouth drops thinking, how can a family of three make it on so little?

okay, ready? this is where God knocked me to my knees. This mom said...

"we are so rich"
wow i complain about how much i don't have and she is rejoicing over the little she does have. she also said "i can now afford the good shampoo at the dollar store, not just the $0.69 kind" she offers to work 12 hour days so she can afford the little things i take for granite every day.

Count your blessings, they are many!!!

i want to marry a man like that

having come from a poor country family, he worked endlessly on the family farm. i've heard countless stroies of that hard working people in his midst; a mother who would do laundary for neighbors and a father who bartered with his vegatables because there was not enough money for the things their family needed. Having been reared with that example, he grew to empower such strong work ethics.
He was the fastest at picking cotton, quit school to go to work and as soon as he was old enough, he joined the army and went to war.

When praised, he will remind you of his flaws because he's humble and remembering keeps him grounded.

But he loved my grandmother qith his every fiber and cared for her until her last breath. He is proud of his children and very raely speaks an unkind word, even if it's truth. He never was never too old or too big to play with his grandchildren (even in a small kiddy pool) and never grew tired of us running at his feet or sitting at his side, eating the pecans as fast as he could crack 'em! and now he sits in joy as he watches the great ones!

He remembers every great highschool athlete he watched play or run and he has friends from 60 and 70 years ago! He love God and it exudes from him, even strangers KNOW!

As we ate lunch out this past Sunday, a friend from many years ago was bragging to me what a great man he was and still is! I know i've had nothing to do with who he is but i have never been more proud than anyone than i was of my Paw-paw that day!

rain makes mud

Man i love the rain! I love to listen to it, watch it as it falls from the sky and as it hits thr ground like little soldiers marching! I love it best when accompanied by thunder and lightening. I love to see the power of God and His artistic ability as it flashes through the dark night sky. I love how the rumble of the thunder shakes my entire being. I love falling asleep to thunder or waking up to rain!

Saturday morning i woke up a little after 7am, and if you really know me, you know that that is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY early and highly unusual! but it was raining outside, i forced myself up and my eyes open (at that early it doesn't come automatically). And since i had the windows open, i could smell the rain and feel the cool air. i layed there a moment and decided that i would open the back door and sit insde, right at the edge, so i could watch the rain fall on my africa (that's what we call my back yard). By the time i got my relaxing chair and a blanket, and got the door opened, the rain had stopped:( but i sat there anyway, nothing that HAD to be done right then!

as a sat there looking at the evidence from the rain, i thought about how i love to play in the rain. -not past tense- and NO i didn't play in it nor have i in a long time, but i still love the way it feels on my skin. a huge smile came to my face as i remebered one of my favorite pictures of my brother and i as children.


i don't remember the day or the or even the activity for that matter, but i have a picture of it and i remember mom talking about it and how she felt when we came inside. it must have rained real hard where we lived that day or night or whenever, and my brother and i went to play in the aftermath of the rain...oh yeah, the mud!!!!! i'm guessing Jay had a good aim that day (as usual) and i'm guessing i had fun (as usual) because i was covered with mud and a HUGE SMILE!!! it was so nice for mom or whoever did it to take that picture to capture that moment for me to remeber 25 years later and share with you.
i hope you can smile even on the muddiest of days!

i like this list

it seems that a few of us have a list or two going, so i will join in. this is not my list but i agree with it and I LIKE IT!!!well, i like the things on it! :)
last week i picked up a Good Housekeeping mag. because it had cute pumkins on the front with good ideas for fall decorating and my creative side was inticed! i've been reading through it a little at a time -one good story each time i pick it up-
yesterday was beyond a tire-some day and after the gym Joanna and i went to fat cowboys to talk and work on things AND eat, and bc thier tea is AWESOME!
anyway i din't get home until 8:30 or so, got cleaned up and ready for bed and picked up my mag. this is what i read...
be ware, it's long!

the good list

1. changing into your pajamas after a long day

2. hugs

3. getting your hairwashed at a salon

4. James Taylor singing "sweet Baby James"

5. a filled-to-the-brim gas tank (at 1.98)

6. the sound of your teenager returning home at night

7. watching your husband read

8. a napping cat or dog

9. the smell of toast when you wake up in the morning

10. the saying "everything happens for a reason"

11. a baby's infectious giggle

12. your mother's voice (always)

13. campfires

14. macaroni and cheese (oh yes!)

15. checking things off your to-do list

16. pulling the quilt all the way to your nose

17. falling asleep without needing to set the alarm

18. a freshly cleaned house (i loved that last night!)

19. a fully stocked fridge (WHAT? NEVER!)

20. flipping through photo albums from your childhood

21. wearing your grandmother's favorite brooch (or rings)

22. a big scoop of strawberry icecream (or lee's chocolate milkshake)

23. watching casablanca or anyother movie you've memorized (love actually)

24. a supersoft (old navy) hooded sweatshirt (at the campfire!!!)

25. buying the perfect birthday gift 5 months early

26. a quiet morning to yourself

27. coffee perculating

28. rereading Pride and Prejudice for the 10th time

29. pedicures and manicures (ahhhh!)

30. reruns of the Golden Girls (or friends)

31. a hot shower after gardening

32. brownines baking in the oven (mom's)

33. sinking into a big comfy sofa (or darla's big chair)

the ones in green are the ones i did last night --most BEFORE i read the list!--or were good experiances during the day!!! it was a good night, a great end to that draining day!

without boundaries

when my parents were going through uglieness at the end of their marriage, my mom would call my granny and tell her about the bad days in tears and my granny would tell her that she was hugging her and would ask mom if she could feel it. it always blew my mind that my mom could feel granny's hugs over 300 miles away AND through the phone, i couldn't understand it.

when i went to college i would call my mom in tears and she would hug me...over 300 miles away and OVER the phone...AND i understood all those hugs from my granny, I COULD GENUINELY FEEL IT! How is that possible?

today, i had a good day, a nice lunch with a nice guy and good conversation and i felt like crying--like a sad cry!
you know one of those feelings that you don't wanna cry because you are not sad, but you do wanna cry because you know you will feel better but you don't know why you wanna cry...
i was talking to my sweet friend, the one with the heart bigger than her body, and she said "cry, and when you let it all out, imagine me hugging you, because my heart is even though my arms can't!" i felt her.

distance is nothing and you can feel their arms because you feel their heart!!

Alexandria

my cousin jessica has recently moved herself and her 21/2 year old in with my aunt (her mom) who lives with my grandfather. well, that means that she is now in town! yeah, but she works in San Antonio so she's never home anyway! but i did go over there last night to visit!
it's after 9 so alexandria (alex) has taken her bath already and is in her night gown...which is leapord print and very wild, she picked it out herself and wears it always! (can we say dramam queen?)
when i got there, jessica was sitting in the recliner with her feet up and alex was sitting at her feet in a little rocker, she's putting stickers on her mom's feet! aaahhhhhh! she had told her mom to "sit down and relax" and began this process! (her sitter does pedicures on the side-- so maybe she was giving her mom a pedi!) AAAHHHHH!!!
Well, she had to show off for me, dancing and jumping and rocking on her belly (she's in dance and those are some things they've learned!)
she wouldn't give me a kiss goodbye, i asked many times and she said "no!, you stay here" ahhh that's so sweet! finally i got one and then went home-- but i really didn't want to leave!
i'm so glad they're so close now i love being with Alex and miss the time jessica and i use to share!

healing

isn't God absolutely amazing!?!
i know i seemed shocked everytime He fixes things, but i shouldn't be. Isn't He who we ask to fix things? do i not expect Him to actually do it or do i not really think He can? Maybe i put too much into human's power of choice and personal will and desire... i don't know.
But i do know that God has been working on some hearts that i love, including my own, and it's so awesome to see the point of the process when things start to come together. Kind of like a bruise (sorry i like analogies)
*at first only you know that you hurt
*then other's can see that you're hurt, but only if you're close enough
*sometimes it sits under your skin for a while, acting as a reminder
*when it comes time for healing it often looks worse (and usually ugly)
*then it dissapears from the surface, but if it is bumped or poked, the pain is still there
*finally comes the time when that bruise and pain is just a memory, a toll to use for future experiances.
all that to say we have felt the bruises, i saw them and saw the ugliness as healing began and the aches of the past were brought to the surface in order for paching up and healing to began.
I know that pain is still there, but it is good to see the bruise easing away from the surface of these relationships that God is beginning to heal.

thank you Father, for being such a powerful influence in our lives. Thank you for the relationships that i have and what each person means to me and to others in their lives. thank you for your healing power and the way in which you mend our broken hearts and our broken relationships. Amen

i had forgotten that

okay so i'm in Teague at my brothers.
my sister-in-law is a work-out buff, she loves it and oes it every morning. i love being here during the weekend ecause she motivates me to work out with too. during the week she gets up at 5am to workout with her sister but on the weekend end its at a decent hour or in the evening and her workout ususally consists of walking around the block.
i packed my tennis-shoes and workout clothes so i could excersize with her. we got up this morning and she announced that she would ride her bike this morning:( i knew i wouldn't be able to keep up with her on foot. and i wanted to say that if she walked i would walk with her BUT i didn't say anything. so right before she left she asked if i wanted her to see if the neighbor had a bike i could ride? YES YES YES. so we called sherrie and walked over to borrow her bike. We were on our way! Cooper was riding with us too.
as we rode through town, waving at neighbors and avoiding potholes and just enjoying being together and being outside; i remembered.....
i remembered that we used to ride together all the time and that i LIKE riding bikes and i miss riding bikes.
So i think i will take that up agian, and hey maybe i will finally get familiar with some of my neighbors...it is about time!
i hope your weekend is full of the things you enjoy!

great week!!!!

well friday is here and half way over at that!!!!
this week was much better than the preceeding ( i love being able to use big words!) i'm sure being in Austin is what kick started it to greatness! the meetings with Jack evans sure didn't hurt and being with the family extra days during the meeting---i love you guys!
i'm excited today, for more than the weekend! I get to see my boys---my little boys--j.t. and cooper (and austin and alley too i'm sure :)) they have 2 baseball games tomorrow that we get to see! we are a baseball family and they ARE baseball boys!!! they play all year and still can't get enuff!!
well i'm off for now. well, send an update when i get back--on the games and all the love i'm gonna get!
i am a happy girl!!!