okay so it has been way too long! i know, and i have had oppurtunities but no ideas or then i would have ideas but not be at the right place. i feel displaced sometimes and not in the way as to feel out of place or not belonging; that's not the porblem. i feel like i'm hiding from myself out of self preservation. wow i don't like being introspective and don't know how to handle it when it all comes bursting through like a damn that has held up against the pressure for so long that it powerfully floods at the first sign of a small leak.
i had no intentions of writing today, but darla's comment and got to thinking... for some reason i let other's opinions or even thoughts that i think they will have rule over me. it may not even be a thought that even occurs in the other person's head but i let my insecurities take over and flood me with doubt and disapproval (that's most often not even there) and i am not who i am. Well, i am on the outside and in crowds, but not where it counts.
truthfully, that is more than likeley the real reason i haven't been here lately, sorry for the excuses and facade. i will get back to enjoying the simple things and being content with who i am and what i have, which are both tremendous gifts and quite abundant!
jackie, it still is hard for me to blog, being that i can't do it at school anymore, so don't expect one eveyday, but i will try to come on at least weekly...we'll see!
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2 comments:
WOO HOO! It is offically a great day! I am so glad to see you - insecurities and all! But let's face it...if the truth were told, we could all say the same things about ourselves. Thanks for being open and honest about it!
YOU THE WOMAN!!!!
Glad to hear from you - glad to spend that little time with you last night.
And, man, do I understand what you're talking about when it comes to holding things in. I do that a LOT!
love you sweetie!!
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