and now it's Monday

~ok, WOW, this one is lllooonnnggg!
We had such a great weekend!!! I thought about posting on Saturday about the wonderful Friday evening that we had but I decided to wait on how the rest of the weekend went; and I'm glad I did!

Friday evening I picked Mike up from work and he started mowing the grass. We haven't mowed since we've had the house (3 weeks) and it rained 8 days straight since then, so our grass was PRETTY tall! The mower we used has a bag on it which was good, so we can begin to get rid of the lovely stickers we have been blessed with, but with the grass so tall we had to empty the bag every few minutes. So while I was trying to get dinner ready, I would go outside and help Mike empty the cut grass into trash bags. I finally got to a stopping point in the kitchen and was able to sit on the back porch while he cut. There was such a nice breeze that evening and working together (although my work was minimal) was so nice! We had 7 bags of grass!!! Then I finished dinner, we ate and used fancy napkins:) then cleaned the kitchen together and sat on the couch for a few hours. No TV, just us! IT was so so so good!

Saturday was very nice as well; I cooked a BIG breakfast that we shared together then we were lazy for a little while. Jessica and I went to get pedicures and then shopped some! That was fun, I'm glad she's back in town! We were together a couple of hours and then it was back to being lazy at home. Mom and her friend Chris came later to pick me up and we all went to the park. There was a benefit for some girls in town and we picked up plates for dinner and some dessert! They had a great turn out and a lot of things to do and see. We came back to the house, Don came over then and we all ate together. Don connected the water to the freezer so our ice maker and water works now! we all had a good visit. Mike finished the yard work and then cleaned leaves off the roof! I went for a walk around the neighborhood and Jamie was here when I got back! Great day #2!!!

Sunday morning I woke up early (highly unusual for me) and decided I would go to Wal-Mart and get the things on my list! When I got back home, Mike was dressed and cooking breakfast!! YUMMY! We cleaned the kitchen and headed for church. Our really dear friends, the Rutlands, (who we've been trying to get to come to class) were in class when we got there!!! Church was very good! We ate lunch at Aunt Pat-pat's; Jessica made the best lasagna ever!!! the Rutlands joined us and went with us to Charlotte to get the riding mower, for their yard and then back at home we put up a few things on the walls. After evening service, some of our best friends came over and Mike grilled fajitas. Food was GOOD and the company was even better! the last few friends left at around 11:30 and we closed the book on a fabulous weekend!

It was so nice to have 3 very busy days that didn't seem very busy at all! but very full of family and friends! I needed that!!! Can't wait til everyone is here on Tuesday!!! I LOVE having room to have people over!

el chaparral

...is our new home!!! we signed on the house last Monday! we began painting on Tuesday, with the help of some pretty amazing people! most of them and a couple more came back on Thursday with a few new additions, and Mike and i finished up on Friday. We still need 1 more coat in the baby's room, but that was not needed to start moving in! Friday Dana asked if i felt like a home-owner, i felt like a hired painter. NOW i feel like a home owner. We had more pretty amazing people out on Saturday loading and moving and unloading in the new house! it looks like we belong here!!!
We learned something this week. We are very blessed! We have wonderful friends and family that each have a servant's heart. many of those that came to help had been working all day, some even brought work to finish and then began serving as soon as that was completed! and oh my soul, my mom is a WORK HORSE, i knew she was a determined hard worker, but WOW!!! she did so much! We deifnately have a lot to be thankful for and no room to complain. God is good for sitting us among such wonderful people!

*i'll post pictures soon, i have to find the cord first:)

7w3d

Well, we had our first Dr. appointment today! Yesterday I was very nervous, scared almost; but i'm not sure why. I think the appointment makes it very REAL and i'm nervous about the pregnancy, while I am excited about it! Maybe i was nevrous about he appointment because 2 men, very close to me, think its funny to tease about the "twins" or the "triplets"! Anyway, it all went fine!
We saw the heartbeat (singular, 1, solotary, alone)it was soo fast and just flickering on the screen! COOL!!! I got a lot of information to read over and gave lab work. We go back in 2 weeks. The sonogram showed that I am 7 weeks, 3 days along and everything is in its right place, doing what it should! My due date is Jan. 27th!!!
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! now we can decide on a theme for the nursery and bedding and such!

*And... we close on the house on Monday, the 23rd!!! We'll start painting next week and will hopefully be moved in by the end of the month!

We're back!!!

...and i'm TIRED!!!
just a short update, will write more with pictures later. We left this morning just after 11, mike and i stayed to eat then took a detour through Bandina to say hi. and then home!
we had a WONDERFUL time! all of us kids were there with spouses (and almost spouse) and ALL mom and don's grankids! there were 20 of us all together in 2 cabins!
the river was low this year so we didn't float and i wouldn't have even if the others did:P but we still had lots of fun swimming, chillin and jumping off rocks (not me though) at the swimming hole and chillin at the cabins!

i will write more later! i'm off to bed now!

Frio River, HERE WE COME!!!!

well, my car is all loaded up and ready to go! I'll go later to get the truck and help load mom and Don's stuff! We won't be leaving until 1:30 0r 2:00 BUT we will be ready!!!

this weekend is our annual Jones-Bridwell river trip!!! 10 years ago mom and don got married in Port Aransas and each summer since then we have celebrated their marriage and our ties as family at the Frio River one weekend in June (originally the 1st weekend because it was aroung their anniversary) we rent cabins at neal's and just hang. we go to the swimming hole and other parts of the river, walk, read, play games, just relax and be with one another! usually we will take the float trip(s) on Saturday! and this will be Mike's first time to go with us! i'm so excited that he gets to be apart of this well anticipated trip!

we have heard that the river is very low this summer, so i seriously doubt that i will do the tubing thing this year...i don't wanna walk the river. the level and speed of the river will not, however, dampen the enjoyment that we will get out of this time spent together!! i thin wanna tie up under a tree and just chill! i will do my best to do that (chill) as best and as often as i can this weekend!

wish you could join us, it will be AMAZING!!! and i'm off to be a river rat!

it's all about what?

...RELATIONSHIPS!!!
yeah, WOW!!! For what seems like years our Sunday morning class has been connecting everything we do in a our christian walk back to relationships. Our relationship with God, yes. But also, our relationship with each other and how the two intermingle with the other person's relationship with God. One can not be accomplished with out the other two. All three make an individual complete. I know sometimes I am a slow learner because I am stubborn. I have known for years that to be right with God you have to be right with his children; when you are not right with his children, you can not be right with him. OR when you are not right with him, you can not be right with his children.

This is something that I have been struggling with for about 15 months. And really the past six month have been the most difficult for me. Recently Jackie and Darla blogged about the desk toys that we use to see in a doctor's office with the barings; you would release the one on the end to crash into the next and it would set the whole contraption into motion. Well, my second baring has been crashed into this weekend, a few times. And I moved!!!! I was not stubborn to God's efforts, I did not stand in my anger and hurt feelings (that should have been given to God a long time ago), I did not turn and run from it. I gave in to my submission to God and it was good! Atleast twice in the last few weeks my barings have been set into motion and I lowered my wall to let them move, it feels great! Then last night i tried my hand at setting the barings in motion, it was like we were in sync. Like we didn't have lost time between us. I thought that this would be like the beginning of the healling process since I am just now allowing God to work on my heart, but it was more like the healling is already complete. I have realize that God has been working on me, I just needed to get out of the "shop" and "on the road"!

Wow, God! thanks for showing yourself to me in such a remarkable way. And thank you for the relationships that we have, continue to be in the center of them and all we do. Thanks you for your unending, powerful presence in our lives!

Laminin

this is something that i received a few weeks ago and is just amazing to me. it's a little over 8 minutes long, and is so cool!



Isn't God amzing?

it can now be news!

just wanted all to know that Mike and I are in the process of buying a house!!! It's on Chaparral in Pleasanton and has just seemed to have been calling to us. Since March we have driven by this house atleast once a week and talked about it almost everyday. Mike saw it in febuary and really liked it! just a few weeks ago we decided it was the right time to get hooked on a house that we were able think about buying now. I saw it not too long ago and just fell in love and the ball started rolling!!!

We have been apporved and contract has been signed; inspection has been complete (thanks Robert) and now we just wait. Our mortage broker is lining up all other things necesary and searching for a lender with the best rate! Our closing date is at the end of June!

AND then...
we didn't know this at the time that "almost news-worthy" was posted last week, but when we move into the house and start painting rooms we will need to paint and set up the nursery too!!!! i have a doctor's appointment in the middle of June, but we're guessing i'm a couple to 4 weeks along!!!! will keep you all updated as we are updated!

is it Tuesday yet?

i just need to say 1 thing; I LOVE BIBLE STUDY! for those of you who don't know, we are in a bible study with the huttons, jamie, and kara; sometimes ajane' and stacy join the discussion. i think karen f is going to become a regular and last night brad and misty were there! it is such a great study and we have such a dinamic miss of personalities that it's like we have all always been doing things together our entire lives, it's so great!! The huttons lead us and have a general idea of where we are going, but each night is usually self-directed. we discuss how we feel about scriptures/docrtine as well as why; with scripture to back it up and we chase rabbit trails when the need arises. We began our study in October and have really come such a long way with, of course, such a long way to go. Our topic is Christianity 101 (the study robert and jackie took when they were first baptized) and is teaching us to use our Bible as a source and tool. I know, duh, right? but yeah, DUH! the scriptures and sections studied are broken down into groups and meomory verses are taken apart for understanding and easier explaination useful when studying with others.
robert just began this study for our sunday morning class! yeah! i know some will think that this is a lot offered and may be overwhelmed, but i think we all were when we we first started. i'm excited to have a refresher and reinforcement of what i am learning and am really looking forward to this class.

is it summer yet?

oh just 2 or 3 more weeks left!!!! i know i have to be at work some or a few days the week after kids get out, but i haven't looked yet, i'm not quite sure when i'm done. ~i'm kinda scared to look, it may be all week~ i'm finishing up the last week with the kids i see (YEAH!) and then will begin my end of the year paper work. I definately do not envy you precious population that are in the class room all day for the next few weeks; i have been so totally married since right before spring break! it has been a long semester! i can't wait to be off and at the river!!!
Good luck, prayers and blessings to you as you finish up the school year in any capacity you may be in!

almost news-worthy

just a little sneak peak, maybe a mean peak, but not intentially mean. Good news on our horizon. i'm not quiet ready to let it out cause it's not a done deal; be looking for news within the next few weeks!

no hiding spot

I've been meaning to blog this for at least a week, just haven't found time.

my favorite verse at the moment is Psalm 139:1-18 (especially the first 13 verses)
1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as
light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was
woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still
with you.
I have really liked that verse for some time now, i was in a Bible study that discussed that verse one lesson and how there is nothing that you can do to make God stop chasing after you (kinda like Jonah)
A couple of monthes ago i saw Rush of Fools in concert and Really feel in love with their song "Can't get away"
v.1 I am an arrow, I am a rocket I am a river and nothing can stop it Cause You are the target and You are the atmosphere You are the ocean that keeps pulling me, You're pulling me here
*chorus*And I, can't get away, can't get awayCan't get away, can't get awayI can't get away, can't get away...I keep running into You(repeat)
v.2 I am a beggar, You are the tableI am so helpless, God You are so ableAnd when I get turned around You change my direction You're so perfect, I'm so broken, here You come with arms wide open Chasing after me down every road You're always waiting there
*chorus*
bridge:Even when I close my eyes, I can't help but see There's no place that I can hide, You're such a part of meI can't get away cause I keep running into YouI can't get away...
*chorus*
One morning a couple of weeks ago, i heard this song on my way to work and it hit me as to how the song and the Psalm go together. It stayed with me for a while as a very happy thought, how God is always there, waiting for me to decide everyday to be HIS and he's fulfilling every need and every space in my life.
Well, it hit me yesterday in Class that even though, He is there waiting to take care of me and I can't get away from His care, and protection and power, He is also there waiting on me to mature and be the Christian i need to be and i can't get away from His awesome commands. and He's waiting, and even if i decide to be like Jonah and run away from Him; Psalm 139: 7-13 tells me that He is still there, even on the other side of the ocean. DUH!
okay i knew this but the last few weeks in Sunday morning class and Tuesday night class, God has kinda been trying to knock it into my head (ypu know like the "should've had a V8" moments!

getting it off my chest

have you ever been mad at yourself but you shift the anger and blame to someone else. you are mad at yourself or the cause of your anger, you have to make a change so you will no longer feel this way. But. if you can push it to someone else (usually someone close to you that has done nothing wrong) it is now their responsibility and you no longer have to change, it is now that person's problem. RIGHT! WRONG! Okay, so you're already mad at yourself for something, then shirk it off on to someone very dear to your heart. Now you're mad, mad more AND in the wrong. You have to appologize, and that is hard too. The longer you wait the more difficult it is, and the more mad you get at yourself and at the other person (for no realistic reasoning).

i was so there! followed by a gloomy day in my world

can you tell?

there are not very many people who work in the schools that would not be able to tell you what the moon will look like tonight and what the weather-man will say about the pressure.

It is definately the time of the month for a full moon. if you didn't see the magnificent display of it on saturday night, just walk abround the halls of the school for a little while. I don't know what it is about a full mon and the pull of the tide, but man it sure does do a number on the kiddos, especially the ones that we see at work!

My office mate came in this afternoon wound up and worn out! she is usually very calm, cool and collective, the one who calms me down when i'm crazy; but oh boy not today! she saw WILD kids today and whiney teachers and she is ready to scream:) things that usually don't bother her are driving her up the wall!
it's kinda funny to me that for a change our rolls are switched in our office and i'm the sounding board---it's difinately her time!
so bless you this week for dealing with kids, teachers and anyone or anything else that is effected by the moon and barometric pressure!

a wish list

I have wanted to blog for several days now but can not think of anything to write about. I've been thinking of where i am in my life and the things that i would like to happen in the very near future and some things that should have happened already but didn't because i have no energy any more. This is just my little wish list... some things are desired more than others, some are not that very important. things i would like to have and things i need to do

i would like..
*the clutter in my living room and spare room put away
*space to put things away so it will not be cluttel
*time and energy simultaneously so i can throw away old stuff no longer needed on wanted
(clutter)
*a house, with room for lots of clutter (okay enough with the clutter)
*a book shelf- i have lots of new frames and figurines and albums but no where to put them...
~i need to get that shelf from my dad~
*i would like to have all my frames needed to redo and move the collage of pictures already on
a wall (my family) AND to make a new one (mike and i and wedding stuff)
*motherhood
*more time i need to set aside to pray and study; by myself and with mike
*summer -- i am so ready!!!
*a rivier trip
*a day at six flags

okay, i'm feeling a bit greedy, but these would make me happy! most of it though aquires me to get up and take action for it to be acclompished. i guess i need to not sit so much. i think i'll work on that this week!

hope you have a day of things that make you happy!

dreams

have you ever had a dream so real that you are afraid to go back to sleep? it will just continue to play out ... and then... it may happen!

ok, i KNOW that it wouldn't happen but last night i had one of thos dreams, that it COULD happen. so you sit up, awake at 3am doing all that you can do to make those thoughts go away; in bed because you're too afraid to get out of bed, the bad people in the dream just might be in the other room of your house.

ok i know that's kinda morbid and i'm kinda dorky, but i seriously thought this morning (at 3am) I need to blog about this! so i did!

jackie, i know that was random, but you're on board with that, right (being random that is)

5th Sunday

Okay i love being with my church family and at worship service any time there's a chance. I love to sing ALL the time! But i would have to say that my overall favorite time (next to summer camp of course) would have to be a with Sunday Worship or 5th Wednesday. I love the variety of all the men that lead songs and the different verses and prayers that are all combined to make a beautiful arrangement! Don't get me wrong i love hearing sermons but there is just something about that kind of calloration that just gets to me! and then the fellowship afterwords; WOW!
I am truely so blessed♥

a light at the end of the tunnel

though my life is far from being dark and grey, sad and desolate, it is not complete. i have known for quite a while that there is something that i wanted to have in my world but the time and circumstances have not been right and i have been told to wait. i am not good at waitning... i have never been good at waiting if i know you have a present for my birthday BEFORE my birthday i want it now, if i have a Christmas present for you Before Christmas i want you to have it now and to open it now and share your expression with me now... I DO NOT LIKE TO WAIT!!! but i do when i have to AND I HAVE TO! the saying, "there is light at the end of the tunnel" comes to mind as my waiting draws to a new type of waiting.
When i was a young teen we drove to Florida and somewhere between here and there we drove through a very long tunnel. i liked going through the tunnel at first and then got tired of being closed up...and was ready to be out of the tunnel and to our destination. As we neared the end of the tunnel and i could see the light of the outside world, i wanted my dad to drive faster to JUST get there. we finally were out of the tunnel, but we were still far from the end of our journey.
in my personal life, i can see the ligth at the end of the tunnel, but am not to it yet. i want to speed up and be there already but know i will miss important parts of life and relationships by speeding through it and i know mistakes are more easily made at higher speeds. i am also aware that even when i am out of the tunnel of this part of my life and i have more freedoms in what i want and what i am doing, the journey is far from being over. i need prayers that i will not try to speed up the process of being out of the tunnel before i am fully in the light; for the journey is still far from being over.

moving around and making a mess

well, now that summer is almost over, i am finally motivated to get things done at my house that i keep sying "i'll do it on a break from work" :) well in 3 years of living here and atleast 9 breaks from work i have finally begun cleaning out my spare room.
i have used this room as a storage (and will continue to but with organization) and if you have ever seen it, you will understand. I now can see a floor in there!!! and for 1 day it looked really nice.
my parents are getting a bed from my step-brother so they are sending one of theirs to me, and i need a place for it. but that's doesn't have a time limit and since i need limits and boundaries and dealines; i didn't clean for the bed. But i knew i was getting internet installed and he would need room to walk because i wanted it hooked up in that room. THAT got me to clean it. and it lookint NICE in there.
the next day i decided to move a bookshelf from my entry way to that room and here comes a new mess. i got stuck in the doorway and had to empty the shelf to get it over the carpet but i couldn't get out of the room. so i just started throwing things in the floor.
but i can't clean it becaue i'm not for sure if i want to keep the shelf where it is! i procrastinate that way. i guess i need to get the bed in there so i will begin to see how i want to set up the room and then start moving stuff. i know it will be a nice room someday soon, but it is such a pig pen now!

ok i know that was random but i wanted to blog and couldn't think of anything else and this is JUST MY THOUGHTS!!:)

now online!!!

hello all! i know it's been a VERY LONG TIME but i now have internet at my house, YEAH!!!!!! and it is a lot easier to be online and go to all the sites that the schools secured network won't let me get to :) so i will be blogging now!!! but don't hold your breath, i know it won't be an everyday occurance or anything! looking forward to getting back into it and back into your business :) hahaha!!!!
will blog soon, i promise

hitting my knees

i am not afraid of very many things but i am afarid of being hurt. And while i am not too keen on emotional pain, i am most afraid of physical pain. i don't want to have scrapes and bruises and drying scaps that pull away and cause itching and extra pain. And when i think about physical pain of anticipate hurt i always direct those thoughs and images to my knees. I'm not sure why i do this, but i have since i was a little girl. If i think about falling, my knees hurts; if i think about a car crash, my knees are the main focus.

and as i am still unsure of the reasoning for this and have embraced never knowing the why i will attribute it to God and my relationship to him. When i put myself into perspective with God, my knees are reverent in the since of relation. God is my master, there for i bow before Him. i am humbled in His presence, i am on my knees. When i talk to him; even though i am not physically doing this, i refer to prayer as hitting my knees.
i don't "hit my knees" as often as i should and maybe the ache in my knees is from the absence my heart feels from not building that relationship with God.

now with that being said. I am asking for prayers, please. Prayers on my behalf to continue making my relationship with God as it should be, therefore turning my relationships with others into what THEY also should be. Also without naming specifics my brother and his family need MANY prayers right now; the situation may not be changed but the effects of the situation can be lessened with prayer as well as strength and comfort be provided to help them all get through it.

dancing

inspried by andy who was inspired my darla who was commenting to jaci:) sorry, you know i have to be silly!:)

wow! darla's comment about old women dancing in the moolight put such a vibrant picture in my mind and then Andy's blog added a new light to it, a twist with many emaotions attached to the dancing i invisioned. He put experiances to it that made me think of striking out on a new adventure or endeavor without fear... wow! what an inspiration that brings to me.

i can begin new things pretty easily and usually they start out with ease and the void of fear. But as i get just inside something new and begin to think that it is something great~as the song begins to play iand i get the urge to 'dance with life'~; my anxiousness and panic sets in and i begin to fear this new wonderful thing coming to an end. And i get so tied up in the ending of the song and the thoughts of "when is it going to end?" "how will it finish?" and "how badly will i hurt, for how long?" that (that more times than so doesn't even end badly) that i forget to dance while the music is playing. that my total existance in the 'right now' is hendered by the possibility if a crashing hault (which more times than so doesn't even occur)

i wish that i had as much contentment as Paul did to rejoice in the right now. He rejoiced in the unpleasantries of right now, i can't find it difficult to have peace and enjoy the moments. ~as a disclaimer, i am not always this way but the uncertainties of the physical future do scare me sometimes!

i hope that you can find contentment and joy in your right now!

don't forget to laugh

this was posted at the end of an email with pictures and stories about the crazy life parents with boys may have...

Laughter...

enhances respiration and circulation,

oxygenates the blood,

suppresses the stress-related hormaones in the brain,

activiates the immune system,

stimulate practically all the large organs in the body,

and relesaes endorphins, the body's natural pain reliever

which also produces a feeling of well being.

I have heard before that laughter is the best medicine and i have also heard that i laugh too much, BUT i haven't been a general physician since i moved to atascosa county...almost 7 years ago! :) i think that there is no such thing as too much laughter!

May you have a life full of wonderful things to make you laugh!

yippy!

during a few spare moments this morning, i was on the internet here at school. I was checking my email and just kinda looking around. I haven't been able to get on blogger for quite some time now because the site has been blocked:( today i thought i would try, just to see what would happen and OH MY GOODNESS, it let me on!!!!:) who knows how long it will be on and available, but i will take advantage while i can!

today has been a slow day and i have been a bit tired. i was out Monday and Tuesday this week for a workshop in San Antonio. The workshop was good and interesting and useful, but it alwasys makes me tired to sit all day listening to lecture and not be moving around with my kiddos, enjoying my schedule. It IS nice to be back today!:)

i am also tired b/c i got in later last night than i usually would like, but the reason was exceptional! Lin and I met Dana in San Marcos and went out for birthday dinner!!!! Everything is better when in the company of my girls! we had a really good time eating, and talking, laughing and JUST BEING SILLY; that is however the best way to be!!!

I gotta go, it's time for my kiddos to come see me! maybe i'll have something to talk about later this week! I'll see most of you tonight and will hopefully be back on soon! hugs and kisses

life's cycle

i have always found it interesting how the lives of creatures and aspects in nature circle each other. how one thing uses another and at the same time, helps something different. and how the sun is the life of most things; things that use and help other things.
Being in the light of the SON gives us life and allows us to be helped by one friend and at the same time help someone else. i experiance that a lot but am fully aware of that wonder today. i think God is so awesome and am just dumbfounded that some find it hard to believe in Him, i find it impossible to believe that He's NOT here and working so powerfully in my life. i have been allowed by God to help 2 friends this afternoon, 2 of my greatest friends, 2 friends that have wiped my tears so many times, 2 friends that show their love in boundless ways, 2 friends that i owe many smiles to.
Christ's love compells us to love. we love him because He has first loved us. We love each other because He has taught us how to love by His example. And we continue loving each other because of the way they react to our love. ( i know that is not always the case and that we love some regargless of how they feel about us) but it sure is a lot easier for me to love those who treat me so much better than they should, much better than i deserve ~hum, sounds like grace~
do unto others as you would have them do to you; you want love, show it, you will recieve so much more than you give, but give it unselfishly, it is given unselfishly on your behalf everyday!
~may you be blessed with the love that i have been blessed with today! inspired by dana's blog:)

"Is he really real?"

my middle nephew cooper is 8 and on the verge of fully knowing about santa. this christmas would make or break the dream held my all children for so many years.

on saturday we had dinner and gift exchange at grandma-B's (don's mom) and santa visited. Cooper knew without a doubt that it was just uncle cam dressed in a beard and red suit. and when confronted by the inquiring young mind, cam wowwed cooper with his honest admittance. Cam assured coop that Santa would be here Sunday night and they could stay up to see him.

Secretly the wonderful santa helping uncle arranged for santa to be at the house to take care of the yearly duties! i awoke, but not to the clatter on the lawn; just the door opening and was able to snap a picture of santa as he finished the cookies and placed the gifts and stockings under the tree.

for the first time in 8 years, cooper didn't have to be coaxed awake, he rose at 7am and stood in wonder at the stokings and gifts under the tree. He was so delighted to see the picture, he could tell by the round belly that it wasn't uncle cam but santa, indeed. Everyone was awaken by the joy-filled boy, surprised by santa's visit! the house was full of the joy that just can't be described!

Hope your day is as great as the beginning of mine has been! Love to all!

purposefully random

okay i know that i am random ALL THE TIME...but today i will be on purpose! ~that hardly ever happens!~ but there are more than a few thoughts on my mind...

~WOW, i love my boss!!!! this year we have a new director at the co-op where i work and can i just say "aww!!" it is so refreshing and relaxing to have a director that is more like a mother than a boss. Every pay day we get a note from her telling us how much we are appreciated. and we get e-cards at holidays. I just got one for Christmas, we all did...25 of us!!!! she's just so neat to work for!
~yeah! a cold Christmas!! 2 years in a row!! and i love that it's raining. i could do with out the mud and cleaning my glasses but all in all it's awesome! Thanks Lord, we needed it.
~i LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! i like the husstle and bustle about the house, no room for everyone so we all sit real close and everyone is all lovey. i love the food!!!(and will work out real hard come January) i just like being with everyone and at this point i have 5 down (counting work and the ladies thing) and at least 2 to go. I LOVE IT!!!!
~i love my friends! :) we got together lastnight and yippy that Lin made it! we walked on the riverwalk, ate a yummy dinner and ran through the mall to get to J.R.'s truck so we could retrieve lin and stuff! then we opened presents and went back to the river! it was a GREAT TIME! thanks for the good times! -Jamie i missed you!

okay that's all for now! Merry Christmas to all! make wonderfull memories with your loved ones, love you

now is a good time...

okay so it has been way too long! i know, and i have had oppurtunities but no ideas or then i would have ideas but not be at the right place. i feel displaced sometimes and not in the way as to feel out of place or not belonging; that's not the porblem. i feel like i'm hiding from myself out of self preservation. wow i don't like being introspective and don't know how to handle it when it all comes bursting through like a damn that has held up against the pressure for so long that it powerfully floods at the first sign of a small leak.
i had no intentions of writing today, but darla's comment and got to thinking... for some reason i let other's opinions or even thoughts that i think they will have rule over me. it may not even be a thought that even occurs in the other person's head but i let my insecurities take over and flood me with doubt and disapproval (that's most often not even there) and i am not who i am. Well, i am on the outside and in crowds, but not where it counts.
truthfully, that is more than likeley the real reason i haven't been here lately, sorry for the excuses and facade. i will get back to enjoying the simple things and being content with who i am and what i have, which are both tremendous gifts and quite abundant!

jackie, it still is hard for me to blog, being that i can't do it at school anymore, so don't expect one eveyday, but i will try to come on at least weekly...we'll see!

hear them singing?

okay i know Jamie posted something not too long ago about children singing and how beautiful it is...but i will too!! i have to brag...:)

okay my nephews are in town this weekend (my step brother got married)

We went to class with our congregation this morning and then came to Jourdanton to worship with my Paw-paw at the baptist church. One man sang a special, "One Day at a Time" and it was very pretty, real nice. Cooper was sitting between Mom and I and he was singing right along side Mike, in his cute sweet little voise. Made my heart smile!

i remember when J.T. was little (less than 2, coop wasn't born yet) he LOVED to sing church sonegs. Praise ye the Lord was his favorite, and he would sing it his all his might...and he didn't have his /l/ sound yet...it was too cute!

AND then at lunch today, Alex my cousin's little girl was singing songs from her bible class! it was just so precious! and i cried, in my plate!:)

did you know...

...that i liked basketball?
Okay, my mom was a basketball player in high school and my brother got those genes, and ALL of them, because i have none. Yeah sure i like to play (as i like most games) but i'm funny to watch!
we grew up with my mom playing us, and going to all my brother's games and i played little dribblers ~i think~. and we watched the Lakers on T.V. every chance we had (like jackie hutton does witht he spurs)
and now that i have nephews i love to watch them play anything, even basketball and that's what i always chalked it up to. base ball has ALWAYS been the one i like the best, except of course for bull riding!
okay so let's get to the piont... Ashleigh that i work with is a coach's wife and his 7th grade basketball team had their first game tonight in Somerset and she was going to support them and him, and i tagged along! and i was thinking, okay so it's basketball, eh and jr. high basket ball at that...ehhhh, but what the heck, i will support kids from the youth group, okay, it will be okay...
WRONG!!!!
it was so good, it started slowly but then in the 4th quarter, the b team just came alive and i was standing and yelling and cheering and jumping on the bench and just going crazy with excitement!!! and the did win, but a team lost, but it was a fantastic game!
i DO like basket ball and will probably be visiting a few more games this season!

-sorry that it has been forever since i've posted, i can't get on it at school anymore (on my conference) so it's not so easy. don't be surprised if it's a while before my next one. (: but if you really want to know anything, i am still in the same place and if you can't see me, you know my # :)

makes me smile

some time ago a few of you started a list of things to do and things you like and even a list of things you don't like, then recently i posted a list of good things i found in a magazine that i agreed with. For the past couple of days i have been paying attention to my routine and thinking of things in that are usual and familiar to me but not in my every day life, i have been back-tracking in my mind and i have come up with a (starter) list of things that i really really love. these are not in any specific order, i they are all favorite things...

~time spent with friends

~girl time

~being wrapped in my momma's arms

~sunday phone calls

~breakfast for supper

~being a part of cooking with others

~laughing (even when i'm the joke-most of the time)

~being in the middle of God's nature

~making plans to be with friends *because being together is ALWAYS great but if we have to plan for it.... oh yes!!

~my nephews and my Ally

~children

~rainbows

~feeling the wind hitting my face, dead on (this is better than feeling it at an angle)

~jumping in an ice cold river in the middle of autumn with 3 other KRAZIE ladies

~seeing God's wisdom being poored through the heart of my sister

~seeing God's power in action through the love of someone i love

~listening or seeing characteristics of an old friend or of myself

through soemone else's perspective

~pregant bellies

~baby sounds, smiles, baby feet and toes, baby noses...

~seeing success in my kiddos

~moving my leg in the morning so my foot will be on the cold spot in the bed

~listening to thunder and watching lightning

~a warm fuzzy sweatshirt or blanket

~my last bite of enchiladas

~unexpected friendships

~geting dressed up for something special

~Suzie's reaction of a new pair of shoes

~gentle touches

~playing in hair, or someone in my hair

~holiday smells from the kitchen

~seeing my paw

~kisses

~the lingering rememberance of a good smelling guy on my shirt (i love Domain!)

~hearing "i love you jenn" from Ally or one of my boys (or anyone actually...)

recipe Ingredients

I love to cook although i don't very often, because it's hard for just one person. but i like to all the same. I love taking a variety of some good things and some not so good things (what IS cream of tartar anyway) comibining them, stirring in a little love and ending up with something wonderful. i love this process in other things such as photo boards, tin creations and more of those not dealing with cooking at all...

i was able to be a part of a great recipe this weekend...
cold weather, fire, warm sunshine, thin mattresses, having no mattress at all (because it was stolen), snoring friends, lots of laughter, noisy furnaces, one or two dissapointing moments, great food, some spills, a broken glass, cleaning, God's country side, ice cold water, beautiful signing (with bass and tenor without the men) cool breezes, stealing presents, a wonderful worship, great lessons, moving from the top bunk in the middle of the COLD night for a pit stop, crafty activities, burn spots on a foot (not mine), campfire stories, crazy games, frustrating plans for game points, seeing the game points worn with pride, and wonderful Godly women.

great and not so great ingredients, combined in one place, mixed with love... and something wonderful in the end! Our women's retreat was absolutely amazing!!! the good ingredients far outweight the not so good and each thing was needed in order for the recipe to turn out just perfectly! God is so good to give us times and places such as these to strengthen us and rejuvenate us to come back and tackle another week for His Glory.

one

there was or is a comercial that advertises the power of one...sorry i can't think of what it is. okay anyway i was thinking about that and it got me to thinking how powerful one really is weather it be in a negative way or positive.

it blows my mind how ONE can affect everything! one act of kindness can lift a load off a struggling soul, even if that aspect is unkown; one smile can brighten someone's entire day; one activity not participated in because of our Christian character can change someone's eternity; and one word can help, heal, encourage, ruin a friendship, or destroy a person.

as i left a bible study last night i was thinking about how much i love thewoman i had just said goodnight to. and how close i am with her. and then i was thinking back on a time when we weren't close. and how one act of forgiveness turned my unwilling heart to help out in away that i really didn't want to and how that one day of helping her (in my opinion hers may be different) changed our relationship forever.

God's timing is so awesome and he puts things on our hurts, unwilling to let us waiver for so many good reasons. I love His all-knowing power and how he can turn one thing that was not so pleasant into so many amazing moments. i can not wait for all those moments that we haven't experianced yet!

i LOVE this thing!!!

when i went to ACU in the fall of '97 i met Judith. a red-headed canadian girl who lived in the room across the hallway. instantly we became friends! she was then and continues to be my friend from across!

when we met, we were ACROSS the hall. she grew up in Ontario Canada, ACROSS the continent. and began her college life in Michigan, ACROSS the country. the first summer we were in Abilene we lived in houses down the road from the campus, ACROSS the alley from each other. our 2nd year together we lived ACROSS campus and our last ACROSS town from each other. Upon graduation i moved here and she moved to the Dallas Fort-worth area, we were ACROSS Texas! she is now a missionary in Japan.

I emailed her recently for her birthday and got to correspond with her a little bit. but i miss her so much and we really don't keep in touch with each other as much as i'd like. we are both busy and after all we are ACROSS the world from each other (okay i'll stop saying that i know, you get the point!)

Every couple of months, judith will send an update letter about recent events, praises to God and prayer requests. i got one today and guess what?

SHE HAS A BLOG TOO!!!!!!! okay, just a little bit excited! so another friend i can be in touch with through this system! i love technology (well, when it's easy like this is!)

i hope you too can notice and experiance the good things God had instore for you this Monday!

hey ju i made a comment on the kitten post...just FYI! i don't know if you go back to read comments from early blogs---i don't unless somethings makes me think i might have something! it's about the resident Angie and i had in the dorm!! :)

flat tire

okay i have some to the conclusion that people in small towns are generally nice people! i'm sure people in big cities are nice too, although they aren't on the highway! And i know a lot of wonderfully nice small town women but i have noticed that men will go out of thier way to help someone else (especially if the man has children)

a couple of weeks ago as Joanna and i were leaving the gym, i noticed that my rear left tire was flat. not low, oh no it WAS FLAT, like my wheel cover was resting on the ground flat!!! so we were looking at it and jo was paniced but my daddy made sure a long time ago that i knew how to take care of things such as that so i was planning my next step. In the mean time, a guy that also works out there was leaving (almost out of the parking lot) and he noticed my tire and turned around to make sure we were okay and knew how to handle it. he also made a suggestion of going to the tire place down the rode (i went but it was scary so we left)
anyway, i aired it up and have been watching it and taking cxare of it as needed.

okay today i was at walmart and when i left i had thought about checking it, it looked yesterday like today would be a day to add air, but there was a lady getting out of her car and i didn't want to rush her or startle her so i didn't check it. but ias soon as i got on the highway i could clearly here that i should air my tire RIGHT AWAY!

so i turned around at whataburger and as i was coming out the exit only, a truck of older men turned in to the exit only, so i looked in confusion at him and smiles (because it's easier than frowning) they pulled in ther JUST to tell me that my tire was flat!
again, it was out of his way to turn and offer help.

I have been veryfortunate to have good look on the road but at times that i have needed help, there have been guys (prob'lly dads) that have been willing to help.
Their moms would beproud and their daughters are fortunate!

i made a mistake

i posted "i want to marry a man like that" the other day but saved it as a draft for a few days. I published it today but it is posted in the order it which it was created. so you have to look for it under "humbled". SORRY!

humbled

i have the privledge to share an office at the coo-op with a wonderful christian women, who is caring enough to kindly put me in my place and provide and form of encouragement me when i need it! Roxie is an interpreter for the deaf and sits in on ARDs (meeting for children in special education to review progress and goals) when translation and interpretation ins needed. she also teaches signs to non-verbal children to assist the communication process. We have a few kids in common, so every so often i will see her on my campus during the day, which is a treat, becasue just looking at her smiling face brightens my day!
God has truly blessed me because i have seen her 3 times already this morning. She had to be at an ARD for one of my kids, his mom is hard of hearing and uses signs...
so in seeing her just now, i asked how it went. This mother works very hard to support her kids and is elligible for very little financial support. They barely make ends meet. She left work this morning to attend the meeting (because she is a part of her child's education).
This is what she shared with Roxie...
She works at a restraunt cleaning in the back and helping prepare food and such; pay- $5.75 and hour (soon she will move up to $6.00.) She also breaks horses on the weekend; pay- $100.00
Now i'm not going to pretend to know how much a job like that is worth but i would think that a good hand who has a life time experiance with horses could get better than that so my mouth drops thinking, how can a family of three make it on so little?

okay, ready? this is where God knocked me to my knees. This mom said...

"we are so rich"
wow i complain about how much i don't have and she is rejoicing over the little she does have. she also said "i can now afford the good shampoo at the dollar store, not just the $0.69 kind" she offers to work 12 hour days so she can afford the little things i take for granite every day.

Count your blessings, they are many!!!

i want to marry a man like that

having come from a poor country family, he worked endlessly on the family farm. i've heard countless stroies of that hard working people in his midst; a mother who would do laundary for neighbors and a father who bartered with his vegatables because there was not enough money for the things their family needed. Having been reared with that example, he grew to empower such strong work ethics.
He was the fastest at picking cotton, quit school to go to work and as soon as he was old enough, he joined the army and went to war.

When praised, he will remind you of his flaws because he's humble and remembering keeps him grounded.

But he loved my grandmother qith his every fiber and cared for her until her last breath. He is proud of his children and very raely speaks an unkind word, even if it's truth. He never was never too old or too big to play with his grandchildren (even in a small kiddy pool) and never grew tired of us running at his feet or sitting at his side, eating the pecans as fast as he could crack 'em! and now he sits in joy as he watches the great ones!

He remembers every great highschool athlete he watched play or run and he has friends from 60 and 70 years ago! He love God and it exudes from him, even strangers KNOW!

As we ate lunch out this past Sunday, a friend from many years ago was bragging to me what a great man he was and still is! I know i've had nothing to do with who he is but i have never been more proud than anyone than i was of my Paw-paw that day!

rain makes mud

Man i love the rain! I love to listen to it, watch it as it falls from the sky and as it hits thr ground like little soldiers marching! I love it best when accompanied by thunder and lightening. I love to see the power of God and His artistic ability as it flashes through the dark night sky. I love how the rumble of the thunder shakes my entire being. I love falling asleep to thunder or waking up to rain!

Saturday morning i woke up a little after 7am, and if you really know me, you know that that is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY early and highly unusual! but it was raining outside, i forced myself up and my eyes open (at that early it doesn't come automatically). And since i had the windows open, i could smell the rain and feel the cool air. i layed there a moment and decided that i would open the back door and sit insde, right at the edge, so i could watch the rain fall on my africa (that's what we call my back yard). By the time i got my relaxing chair and a blanket, and got the door opened, the rain had stopped:( but i sat there anyway, nothing that HAD to be done right then!

as a sat there looking at the evidence from the rain, i thought about how i love to play in the rain. -not past tense- and NO i didn't play in it nor have i in a long time, but i still love the way it feels on my skin. a huge smile came to my face as i remebered one of my favorite pictures of my brother and i as children.


i don't remember the day or the or even the activity for that matter, but i have a picture of it and i remember mom talking about it and how she felt when we came inside. it must have rained real hard where we lived that day or night or whenever, and my brother and i went to play in the aftermath of the rain...oh yeah, the mud!!!!! i'm guessing Jay had a good aim that day (as usual) and i'm guessing i had fun (as usual) because i was covered with mud and a HUGE SMILE!!! it was so nice for mom or whoever did it to take that picture to capture that moment for me to remeber 25 years later and share with you.
i hope you can smile even on the muddiest of days!

i like this list

it seems that a few of us have a list or two going, so i will join in. this is not my list but i agree with it and I LIKE IT!!!well, i like the things on it! :)
last week i picked up a Good Housekeeping mag. because it had cute pumkins on the front with good ideas for fall decorating and my creative side was inticed! i've been reading through it a little at a time -one good story each time i pick it up-
yesterday was beyond a tire-some day and after the gym Joanna and i went to fat cowboys to talk and work on things AND eat, and bc thier tea is AWESOME!
anyway i din't get home until 8:30 or so, got cleaned up and ready for bed and picked up my mag. this is what i read...
be ware, it's long!

the good list

1. changing into your pajamas after a long day

2. hugs

3. getting your hairwashed at a salon

4. James Taylor singing "sweet Baby James"

5. a filled-to-the-brim gas tank (at 1.98)

6. the sound of your teenager returning home at night

7. watching your husband read

8. a napping cat or dog

9. the smell of toast when you wake up in the morning

10. the saying "everything happens for a reason"

11. a baby's infectious giggle

12. your mother's voice (always)

13. campfires

14. macaroni and cheese (oh yes!)

15. checking things off your to-do list

16. pulling the quilt all the way to your nose

17. falling asleep without needing to set the alarm

18. a freshly cleaned house (i loved that last night!)

19. a fully stocked fridge (WHAT? NEVER!)

20. flipping through photo albums from your childhood

21. wearing your grandmother's favorite brooch (or rings)

22. a big scoop of strawberry icecream (or lee's chocolate milkshake)

23. watching casablanca or anyother movie you've memorized (love actually)

24. a supersoft (old navy) hooded sweatshirt (at the campfire!!!)

25. buying the perfect birthday gift 5 months early

26. a quiet morning to yourself

27. coffee perculating

28. rereading Pride and Prejudice for the 10th time

29. pedicures and manicures (ahhhh!)

30. reruns of the Golden Girls (or friends)

31. a hot shower after gardening

32. brownines baking in the oven (mom's)

33. sinking into a big comfy sofa (or darla's big chair)

the ones in green are the ones i did last night --most BEFORE i read the list!--or were good experiances during the day!!! it was a good night, a great end to that draining day!

without boundaries

when my parents were going through uglieness at the end of their marriage, my mom would call my granny and tell her about the bad days in tears and my granny would tell her that she was hugging her and would ask mom if she could feel it. it always blew my mind that my mom could feel granny's hugs over 300 miles away AND through the phone, i couldn't understand it.

when i went to college i would call my mom in tears and she would hug me...over 300 miles away and OVER the phone...AND i understood all those hugs from my granny, I COULD GENUINELY FEEL IT! How is that possible?

today, i had a good day, a nice lunch with a nice guy and good conversation and i felt like crying--like a sad cry!
you know one of those feelings that you don't wanna cry because you are not sad, but you do wanna cry because you know you will feel better but you don't know why you wanna cry...
i was talking to my sweet friend, the one with the heart bigger than her body, and she said "cry, and when you let it all out, imagine me hugging you, because my heart is even though my arms can't!" i felt her.

distance is nothing and you can feel their arms because you feel their heart!!

Alexandria

my cousin jessica has recently moved herself and her 21/2 year old in with my aunt (her mom) who lives with my grandfather. well, that means that she is now in town! yeah, but she works in San Antonio so she's never home anyway! but i did go over there last night to visit!
it's after 9 so alexandria (alex) has taken her bath already and is in her night gown...which is leapord print and very wild, she picked it out herself and wears it always! (can we say dramam queen?)
when i got there, jessica was sitting in the recliner with her feet up and alex was sitting at her feet in a little rocker, she's putting stickers on her mom's feet! aaahhhhhh! she had told her mom to "sit down and relax" and began this process! (her sitter does pedicures on the side-- so maybe she was giving her mom a pedi!) AAAHHHHH!!!
Well, she had to show off for me, dancing and jumping and rocking on her belly (she's in dance and those are some things they've learned!)
she wouldn't give me a kiss goodbye, i asked many times and she said "no!, you stay here" ahhh that's so sweet! finally i got one and then went home-- but i really didn't want to leave!
i'm so glad they're so close now i love being with Alex and miss the time jessica and i use to share!

healing

isn't God absolutely amazing!?!
i know i seemed shocked everytime He fixes things, but i shouldn't be. Isn't He who we ask to fix things? do i not expect Him to actually do it or do i not really think He can? Maybe i put too much into human's power of choice and personal will and desire... i don't know.
But i do know that God has been working on some hearts that i love, including my own, and it's so awesome to see the point of the process when things start to come together. Kind of like a bruise (sorry i like analogies)
*at first only you know that you hurt
*then other's can see that you're hurt, but only if you're close enough
*sometimes it sits under your skin for a while, acting as a reminder
*when it comes time for healing it often looks worse (and usually ugly)
*then it dissapears from the surface, but if it is bumped or poked, the pain is still there
*finally comes the time when that bruise and pain is just a memory, a toll to use for future experiances.
all that to say we have felt the bruises, i saw them and saw the ugliness as healing began and the aches of the past were brought to the surface in order for paching up and healing to began.
I know that pain is still there, but it is good to see the bruise easing away from the surface of these relationships that God is beginning to heal.

thank you Father, for being such a powerful influence in our lives. Thank you for the relationships that i have and what each person means to me and to others in their lives. thank you for your healing power and the way in which you mend our broken hearts and our broken relationships. Amen

i had forgotten that

okay so i'm in Teague at my brothers.
my sister-in-law is a work-out buff, she loves it and oes it every morning. i love being here during the weekend ecause she motivates me to work out with too. during the week she gets up at 5am to workout with her sister but on the weekend end its at a decent hour or in the evening and her workout ususally consists of walking around the block.
i packed my tennis-shoes and workout clothes so i could excersize with her. we got up this morning and she announced that she would ride her bike this morning:( i knew i wouldn't be able to keep up with her on foot. and i wanted to say that if she walked i would walk with her BUT i didn't say anything. so right before she left she asked if i wanted her to see if the neighbor had a bike i could ride? YES YES YES. so we called sherrie and walked over to borrow her bike. We were on our way! Cooper was riding with us too.
as we rode through town, waving at neighbors and avoiding potholes and just enjoying being together and being outside; i remembered.....
i remembered that we used to ride together all the time and that i LIKE riding bikes and i miss riding bikes.
So i think i will take that up agian, and hey maybe i will finally get familiar with some of my neighbors...it is about time!
i hope your weekend is full of the things you enjoy!

great week!!!!

well friday is here and half way over at that!!!!
this week was much better than the preceeding ( i love being able to use big words!) i'm sure being in Austin is what kick started it to greatness! the meetings with Jack evans sure didn't hurt and being with the family extra days during the meeting---i love you guys!
i'm excited today, for more than the weekend! I get to see my boys---my little boys--j.t. and cooper (and austin and alley too i'm sure :)) they have 2 baseball games tomorrow that we get to see! we are a baseball family and they ARE baseball boys!!! they play all year and still can't get enuff!!
well i'm off for now. well, send an update when i get back--on the games and all the love i'm gonna get!
i am a happy girl!!!

i love that boy

ten years ago tonight, i had the privledg (i use that word losely) of driving to expectant ladies (not expecting) to Hilcrest Hospital in Waco. These ladies were chatty with excitement and anxious with what was to come. I, on the other hand was nervous, i had never driven to the hospital before and had only been there a few times before. i did not know where i was going but did know that what i needed out of my passengers i would have to ask for; directions of course and turn by turn instructions. We were all excitesd, we were on a mission you see, just a few minutes before our journey we were informed that my sister-n-law and their daughter was in labor. in labor with a grandchild, their first grandchild!
and man was she ever the lady chatterly! i can still see her red cheeks as she talked 90 to nothing about, well i don't remember, but she was talking and i was watching the monitors. It blew my mind listening to that little heart beat and seeing the lines move up and down with each contraction. I remember watching my brother, the proud papa to be. he sat back, on the window sill and watched everyone move from here to there and back around and listened to all the chatter and the advice given and the making fun of jabber jaws talking so much (its no wonder that kid talks a lot!) every now and again i would catch the loving glance he would give his little wife and the smile that she would return to him from across the room.
then it was time for us all to leave the room, an entrance was on its way!!!
i remember being so tired and it taking forever, i remember laying on the floor of the waiting room and looking at the double doors awaiting my brother's news every time they opened!
i can still see the look onhis face we he came out and told my parents their grand-dauthger had arrived, then quickly gave that smile he gives at telling a story, you see we knew a boy was coming to us!
Jerry Crawford Jones III arrived Saturday morning September 28, 1996 early early early- the exact time is something i can't remember but i do remember holding that cute little bundle and the moment he stole my heart the moment i beheld my favorite title...Aunt Jenn!
J.T. was such a cute little squirmy thing and had the longest fingernails. and was already the observant little man, watching and listening; just like his daddy.
that was the first precious moment he shared with me! I have been blessed with many more and know that many more will come!
So to my sweet little man, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! jenn loves you very much! (picture this pink--i had to change it b/c it was HARD to read!)
it's pink because he'll tell you that that is his favorite!

didn't want it to end

okay this weekend was incredible! i picked dana up friday and we made it to lin's around 7:30. didn't get into any traffic the way there, but i did make a wrong turn onto one of the roads near her house (surprise!). we went to eat at Razoo's, YUMMY!!!! and went back to the apartment to get cumphy and visit! is was so nice to be with both girls! like old times!! max the cat was fun too, he likes to get in between the screen and sliding glass door going to the porch!
saturday morning dana woke first and lin last (surpirse again) we moved slowly and had lunch around noon at chick-filet. we decided to go to Zilker Park from there. it's a nice park in south Austin at Barton Springs. we went through an auqifer exhibit there, waided in the river, walked around a little and rode the train! that was way fun. While in the water we talked to the boys who were on their way toward austin and they instructed us to have no fun until they got there. oops we forgot to NOT have fun! or we rebelled! :)
it was a bright sunny day, warm but not too bad, lin didn't complain about being hot OR being outside! :) good sport. we drove by a botanical garden (we'll do that next time!)
went back to the apartment to meet the boys, they beat us there, we stopped at a coffee shop! yum:p
we playe friends triva, threw playdough at each other (i bet you'll be wrong when you guess who started THAT!) and listened to the thunder as we watched the lightening --- no rain. we ate at Olive Garden and the cute little waitress flirted with our guys! :) she gave us extra bread too, cuz they're so cute!! (:
then we stayed up like gigglely teens at a slumber party!
Church at west over hills Sunday morning was fabulous, sitting in front of us were the Richard Benskins (jim's son and d-n-l) cool!
then to lunch at Doulbe Dave's -yumm again! (there the tide stick was challenaged on attacking pizza and pulled through greatly!)
we layed around for a while then played basketball at the gym, well, dana worked while she watched, then she called erin and we sang happy birthday to her! back for more play dough wars and packing up! had a royal milkshake and a quick hello to J.R. (lin's friend) then on the road.
Destination, Buda for evening worship. (thought about you big time Jamie) and to dinner with friends from there. That's a nice place with nice people, thanks dana for sharing with us!
then to san marcos to drop the girl off :( and the journey home! it was llllloooooonnnnnggggg and i was tired.
got home right at 10 and time for bed to begin another week!

it was such a great weekend, i know we missed wonderfull fellowship here on sunday but i wouldn't have traded it for the world! it was good to be with you girls! (and boys too--but that's every week!)
~oh the no traffic on the way was compensated for on the way home--BIG TIME!

AMAZING!!!

this Tide Stick is the most amazing thing in the world! Lin just marked on her shirt with purple permanent marker(very lin by the way). AND the stuff got it out! it took a little going over but within 5 minutes, totally gone!! Thanks lorene for getting me hooked!
if you make messes, you need this!

random dream of favorite things!

okay so i love chocolate cupcakes--the ones with the white swirly things on top! and i haven't had them in a while but i LOVE them!!! okay and too, i LOVE blogger! I MEAN LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS THING!
okay we're at lin's and i get half of her bed (sorry for her i was very restless) so she gets up early this morning and i rememeber that i was dreaming.

i was dreaming about choclate cupcakes ~with the white swirly on top! but not only cupcakes. i was telling amy about my cupcakes and we turned around to see daniel blogging about chocolate cupcakes ~with the white swirly on top!
okay that's my brain for this morning. it's almost noon and we are going for breakfast! but hey jo, i worked out this morning!!! :) yeah me first time in 7 days, actually 8! laterz!

CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!!!

i'm at dana's YIPPY!!! and she's finishing up with her packing! YIPPY!!! and we will soon be on our way to lin's! YIPPY YIPPY!!!!
going to start a great weakend of goodfriends off with a long over due and much needed girl's nite!
The boys, k-lub and daniel will meet us in austin saturday. but while we wait (not sadly- mind you) we will be silly and giggly and goofy!!!! basically we will be GIRLS!!! and you know, we do that so well! we have had many years of practice!! me--almost well i won't say how many years!:)
okay so i will update on the weekend when the weekend is over! its time to be with the girls! LUCKY ME!!!
loves

Thursday!

man this week has been so long and not refreshing at all! sure there has been refreshing moments and instances where i thought...AAAAWWWWW that was nice. but for the most part it has wearily dragged by and i haven't really felt like myself. my house is a WRECK and i haven't gone to the gym at all (i usually enjoy that exertion and process of letting everything out) all i've felt like doing is sleeping and that has happened much at all! i thought that my problem was that i'm tired--but i now think not. i think now that spiritual warfare is eating at my insides and i'm on the line (don't worry and you don;t have to comment on my faith. i know i'm a good christian and doing good things- i'm not worried about my standings) i'm just caught in the middle but not the middle of anyone, it's just me and i don't know how to explain how it feels. i'm caught between trusting and not trusting, between letting go and grabbing to something new, between wanting to dwell on the past and wanting to strive for the future. i'm caught between being nice and doing what's right--WHY IS THAT SOOOOOO HARD! i'm caught between remebering and forgiving. i feel that i have forgiven but i can't move past it yet and i'm not ready to move on and i feel like a lump of stickers because i can't say it out loud. i want this person to understand that i still hurt and i am not trying to hurt back, i just don't know how to move forward without that pain bouncing between us. i desperately want to move forward but forgetting is not an option and time is going to have to heel but i don't know how much i need please me patient my friends (notice the plural). i'm also caught between listening to opinions of others and listening to God!
okay i was going to write about my excitement of grey's anatomy season 3 premeire tonight....this just took hold! and i DO feel better!

oh my goodness it has been WAY TOO LONG since i've been able to do this...A WHOLE WEEK! sorry guys, but i have really missed reading and writing. I don't have a 'puter at home and the internet at my office has blogspot blocked. I can only get it at my mom's or in poteet (on my conference hour) or at caleb's. but i haven't been to either of those places long enought to do anything.

Not any big news or nothing really interesting going on right now, just a few random things!

i had a great weekend!!!!!!:) mom was offered and took a job on thursday:) praise the Lord for that! she and i went to job clothes shopping on saturday, that was great, we haven't had lots of time lately to spend together! it was fun. then i met up with my boys and we went to the aggie/army game saturday night! gig em! not a big aggie fan, not a big football fan.BUT we had GREAT seats and it was loads of fun!!! i got into the yells! daniel told us about some of them, he also explainen the game to us when we didn't understand, i knew what was going on when i paid attention. i had soemone to goof off with when it was boring (i said i wan't a football fan) i was text messaging dana at certain points, we got to "saw" that was cool! and there was a drunk guy being stupid right next to us, we were waiting for him to fall off the rail, but that didn't happen. We had good parking ate good food before the game and just had an all around good time!

Sunday my girls were at church and i got to see them although only breifly, but we will have another weekend together VERY SOON!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!:)
i watched two really good movies on Sunday (see jackie, you're not the only movie nut) Everyone's Hero with my aunt and cousin and her girl in the afternoon- I love them, and then United 93 that night--good show, makes me sad to think about the drama of that day- AND it rained, bot did it rain. the lightening was too cool and i absolutely love it BUT it was a bit scary while driving in it, it was quite close!

I know yesterday wasn't part of the weekend, but bible study was real good, i was a little too tired for revelation but the discussion afterward was great and the just being with everyone there is always great! i miss our old group though!
okay, working on a book here and my time is close to being up! next time won't be too far way again! happy tuesday all!

memories:

isn't funny how a memory can change your attitude or mood? Even when that memory goes back 15, 25, or 35 years, okay my memory doesn't go back 35 years yet but you get the picture! it amazes me how thinking about one thing (even such a long time ago) can bring back all memories of that time. I was in a wreck almost 12 years ago and i can remember exactly what i was wearing from the sunglasses on my head to the socks on my feet! -but i couldn't tell you what i wore sat!:)
Amy and Jackie got me thinking about dolls and as i was thinking of my favorite i could see in my mind how my room was set up and the things that i had on my shelf with my baby doll --all my treasures-- the things i liked best. I can see my bed and i smile thinking of all the wonderful mornings, well not wonderful mornings because i don't like to wake up but all the wonderful things my parents did to coax me out of bed. seeing my bed also makes me laugh as i can see me throwing myself onto it in a fit of being upset at something. the picture of my bed also makes me sad as i remember my dad coming into my room the morning of March 31st, 1992 to tell me of a car accident that took the life of a girl at school, i walked backwards and sat there on that memorable bed, shocked at the news.
whoa, i didn't mean to go in that direction, but the memory of my room and my little bed with purple unicorns on it and later just a pink comforter brought back soooo many emotions from so many different situations in my life!
its funny to me how some things of the past shape our present and how some things are pushed so far back that i really have to dig to bring it to the surface and then there are some that i can't keep from pouring out of my head!
Thanks ladies for getting my memories moving and i enjoy also reading about yours! Luvs and huggies- ha, that's sounds funny!:)

I wanna be like that!


Jonah didn't want to do what God told him to do and he ran away in the oppostie direction. Our 2 year olds are learning this in their Bible Class. There are many examples of "Jonah"s; we are taught to be like Isaiah and answer the God's directives with "Here I am, Lord, send me". I am such a Jonah most of the time-exspecially when its not fun or easy or out of my comfort zone. I am so greatfrul for the many examples i have of "Isaiah"s both in the Bible and in my life. I was reminded of that yesterday morning during chruch service, sitting in my pew.
A young girl went forward to be baptized and as Ray, our minister, was explaining this act and this faith i looked over at the awesome man sitting at the end of the aisle, down from me. He's a leader in our congregation, a Godly man in every way and has been a great example in my life since I've known him. He was NOT a Jonah. He knew that men would be needed in a short while to help prepare the bapistry. He was sitting upright, leaning foward with his hands on the seat at his side, he was listening intently but at the same time, this wonderful man was ready to rise.
I was not surprised, this man's actions have always been like those of Christ; as were those of the other men that got up to serve in that capacity. And again I was impressed.
Thank you God for this example.
Man alive...I wanna be like that!

NOT Dying here...

but i sure do feel like it! Okay, i have been able to check comments, but these are shared computers and i feel bad taking the time JUST to blog, so i haven't read anyone's blog. i am having fun here in dallas and learning a lot; both at the conferance AND in downtown dalls! we rode the DART (dallas area rapid transit) it was WAY fun and a little scary---we got DART 101 from a bum, but soooo glad he was around, we were clueless! will leave tomorrow (sat) can't wait to get home!

oh yeah, this morning at 4:30 am the fire alarm went off IN THE HOTEL, false alarm, but just as we were ALMOST back to sleep it went off again! WE were up and were planning to work out at 6:00 so we just started the day an hour early, not too bad but i am tired! and no, mom i haven't been grumpy---REALLY REALLY working on that!!! still smiling!

later friends! i miss your thoughts, and faces, or voices (whatever applies) :)

addicted!

okay im totally addicted to this way of communication. im getting ready to go out of town for a few days and my thought is...oh no, if theres no internet, i can't blog! im so silly. but this is such a cool way to know how things are with others. my mom first refered to blog as reading someones diary. to me its like a friend calling you up and sharing their day with you--or atleast a thought or two-- hopefully i'll beable to check up on you all, if not i will be busy Sat.!:)
I hope the week finishes out nicely for eveyone! i'll miss you :) (i know im a dork)

Connecting!

its so good to connect with those you havent seen or talked to in a while! It makes me smile! there are three girls that i don't usually get to see or talk to very often. well i see them and talk to them like a short email here or there or to the point text message but not connecting!
This weekend my Lindsey was in town and she did the family thing so i didn't get to see her until church and it was a short visit BUT wow! what a connection. We sat on the same row with noone between us we gave a BIG hug at the beginning and toward the end of the service we came together and embraced and held on to each other until the very end! just thinking about it i laugh, we're so silly with each other and without concern of anyone's thoughts. With her, im just me, we're just us and nothing else matters!
my cousin Jessica and i have also been close but we don't see each other very often and when we do it's family dinner and the chatter is always public and always LOUD and there isn't time for just us to visit! But a little bit yesterday and and a little more today we got to spend time together and that was good! i think that there will be a few more oppurtunities for us to be around each other in the next few weeks..i hope i will take those chances!
and certainly not least, i got to talk connect with my sweet sweet Dana today! We've been busy lately and things have been crazy and awkard but not today! we text messaged about fun future activities AND then we talked for a while tonight! we didn't talk long but it was real and we were sincere AND that was so good! :)
three days without work, time with family and friends, sleeping all morning AND connecting! I am full, my cup runneth over! I am truly blest!
i pray that you will be too!

Weekend!

Yippy! the weekend is finally here! this week at work was my first week to see kids! wow!!!!! i really got use to not moving around so much everyday! and am tired! so today is Saturday and i didn't have to go to work today! And, and i don't have to go tomorrow either:) this is a happy girl you're looking at, well, not looking at!
it's not just that i started seeing kids this week. i love the weekends EVERY week. it's my time. i can sleep in if i want, i don't have to get dressed if i don't want to, i'm not on a schedule and i don't have to report to anyone or anywhere. But i can get to be with my family! that's what i WANT to do and where I WANT to be! right here with the ones that i am the closest to. the ones that know me more than i know myself, the ones that can fix the bad day before they even know i had a bad day! :) the ones whose love is better than any medicine i could take (if i did take medicine)
i'm the type of person that finds family even in those people that i don't share blood and chromosomes and genes with. people i work with are my family, my church is my family my friends are my family. I have been with family all day!
this is why i LOVE the weekends.
i started the day at the gym--YES and i still hate IT but at day 2 it's getting better---i met Joanna there, my friend from work, one of my closest friends! We were supposed to go last night but i ran out of time! work out this morning was much better than day one!
after the gym i went to visit another friend at work, my best, k-lub we give each other a hard time all the time, but i love being around him! after that i got cleaned up and went to grandma b's. It's Saturday and my daddy-don's mother-Grandma b- has hamburgers at noon---EVERY saturday. Yeah, more family. my youngest nephew is here! i love being around my boys, the have so much energy and are so much fun to be around with!
now i'm at mom's just hanging, with her is probablly the best place in the world!
and all of this...this is why i love the weekend!!
have a good one as well! and enjoy those things that make this day great for you!

--oh and jackie, i want to know what you thought i was going to write about on my Thursday blog--I don't wanna-- love you all!